No Pants, Know Problems
Exposed
\ik-ˈspōzd\
adjective
Definition of exposed:
1: not covered or hidden; visible
2: not sheltered or protected from the weather
3: in a vulnerable position or situation
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a people person. So, when the first day of the 1992-1993 school year came around, this simply meant that the party was moving to a new location—from the neighborhood to the classroom.
Only, I couldn’t go.
I was home schooled at the time, which meant I had to stay behind. It felt like living at summer camp after parent pickup day. Another fall season had arrived, I was stuck indoors, and the neighborhood was again empty and void of life. It was my own personal “stay at home” order.
That is until approximately 3:30 PM. That’s when the party came home.
If there was one thing that could pull me away from my chemistry lecture (MacGyver on VHS), it was the return of my friends—Amanda, Michelle, and Dustin. The hiss of airbrakes and the screech of the folding bus door could be heard from the bottom of the street. Music to my pre-adolescent ears. The neighborhood was about to reopen.
I jumped to my feet and raced down the stairs. I had waited all day for this moment. I flung open the front door and sprinted across my front yard toward the cul-de-sac. I felt like the father welcoming home his prodigal son—arms spread wide.
“Hey, guys!”
“Uh…hey, Jon.”
“What?” I asked catching my breath.
“Are you forgetting something?”
“Oh. Nah, I can watch my show another time. It was recorded anyway.”
“You’re not wearing any pants.”
I looked down. They were right.
No amount of duct tape and chewing gum could get me out of this jam. I don’t even think MacGyver himself would’ve known what to do. But then again, he’d probably never run outside in his underwear. At this point, I was the polar opposite of that prodigal son’s father. I had no robe. I didn’t even have any pants. “Arms spread” quickly turned to “arms covering.” I was like the emperor with new clothes. The only difference being everyone did state the obvious. I turned and sprinted back toward my house. The laughing quickly faded, but the embarrassment didn’t. To this day, the sound of airbrakes still makes me blush.
Exposure is something many of us typically try to avoid. When faced with being exposed, we tend to prepare as needed. That’s why we practice social distancing. That’s why we camp in tents. That’s why we wear pants. But obviously exposures aren’t only physical in nature. There’s also emotional exposure, which many would say is far less desirable. C.S. Lewis once said: “Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also more hard to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say ‘My tooth is aching’ than to say ‘My heart is broken.’”
I believe Lewis is right. Many of us would prefer a toothache over a broken heart any day. But how often do we get a say in the matter? Emotional pain, like physical pain, is oftentimes out of our control. It’s something that eventually finds us all. Insecurity, hopelessness, doubt, anxiety, loneliness are some of the negative feelings that, given the wrong set of circumstances, can leave us feeling emotionally exposed. But, thankfully, we have tools to help manage negative emotions, by first recognizing the associated thought or belief, and second, by questioning its validity. We can do this by using Socratic questioning—pants for your mind.
The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines The Socratic Method as “…a series of questionings the object of which is to elicit a clear and consistent expression of something supposed to be implicitly known….” Perhaps there’s a self-defeating thought associated with feelings of doubt; a self-deprecating thought with insecurity; a negative self-worth thought with loneliness—thoughts believed to be true, yet never questioned or challenged. While there are many different negative beliefs, some the most common are: “I’m weak,” “I’m trapped,” “No one likes me,” “I’ll end up alone,” “I’m worthless,” “Things never go right for me.” If one of these negative thoughts rings true for you, put it to the test by answering the following questions:
· What’s the evidence for this thought? What’s the evidence against this thought?
· Is this thought black and white, when we know reality is more gray and complex?
· Have I been looking at all the evidence, or just that which supports my thought?
· Could my thought be an exaggeration of what’s true?
· Did someone pass this thought or belief on to me? If so, are they a reliable source?
There are times when exposure comes as no surprise—we see it coming from miles away and we’re able to respond accordingly. Other times, it feels as though it comes out of nowhere, and we’re left wondering how we made it out of the house with little more than our Fruit of the Looms. It’s really not a matter of if, but when the next exposure occurs and we’re left feeling vulnerable—feeling like there’s a bit of a draft. Emotional exposure will always be part of the human condition. But interpretation, in large part, determines the human’s condition. So, question the interpretations of circumstances and test the negative thoughts. Don’t accept a lie as truth. It didn’t work well for the emperor; it won’t work well for us. Sooner or later, someone will yell out that we’re not wearing any clothes, and when they do, we’ll have to decide what we do next. I decided to put on some pants. I suggest you do the same.
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (NIV).